Tip #2: Listen
March 10, 2008 – 11:32 am
A wise mentor once said “You have two ears and one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak.” Likely among the most valuable ministry tips I’ve ever received because listening is so integral to understanding, to communicating, to expressing caring to the students, parents and community members God has put in our lives.
Remember the keys to listening excellently:
- Attend - physically face the speaker, make eye contact, lean forward, relax, maintain an open posture, use positive gestures.
- Reflect - when the speaker makes a point, summarize it in your own words using a phrase beginning with something like “I hear you saying that… is that right?” This reinforces your attentive body language, gives the opportunity for clarification, and helps you remember by repetition.
- Focus - reject internal distractions! The human mind can process language about twice as fast as humans can speak. Focus on the speakers words, body language, meaning, and emotion. If necessary, repeat key points in your mind to stay on track. Do not allow mental interruptions from your schedule, imagination, or other sources.
- Judge (not) - resist the urge to form an opinion, express judgment via body language, give unrequested advice, solve an unstated problem, or come to a premature conclusion. Give the gift of hearing out the speaker.
- Unguard - even if the speaker is addressing an issue with you, practice the points above and offer no defense until you’ve carefully and actively listened.
What are your best practices for listening carefully? Share in the comments!
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