Tip #12: Frustration Avoidance
October 15, 2007 – 2:58 pm
Yes! It’s possible to avoid the particular youth ministry frustration that comes from kids who are disruptive or unruly at all the wrong times. The key? Understand why kids break the rules.
I heard a speaker (a very long time ago) articulate several reasons why kids break rules at youth group, and over time I’ve adapted that into 4 workable points. It was an epiphany for me to realize that rule infractions aren’t all the kids’ fault, and that, in fact, I could be a better leader for considering why and taking action to eliminate the loopholes.
These loopholes are:
- They don’t know the rules. Yes, really. When was the last time they were posted in the youth space, printed in the bulletin or newsletter, presented creatively on video, or announced from the front (when there wasn’t an infraction happening)?
- They don’t know the rules apply to them. This is a symptom of inconsistent enforcement, or showing partiality.
- They don’t understand the reason for rules. Perhaps like the rules themselves, the benefits of the rules to the individual and the group, as well as the consequences of breaking them, have not been communicated clearly and frequently in enough formats.
- They just don’t care. This could mean they need remedial help in understanding the rules and seeing them rightly followed. This could also mean they may need to be removed from the group, of course following the disciplinary rubric in Matthew 18.
We are all people under authority, and clearly communicating the standards and expectations by which we all abide is a good reminder to us and our students. It will definitely help to avoid frustration, too!
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